Chapter One

 

When Xi Xi came in telling me that my imperial [older] sister has come, I was in the middle of eating grapes, mindlessly plopping one in my mouth every now and then. Taking the damp cloth to clean my mouth, I put on my signature dull expression and walk out.

That stunning face of Imperial Sister’s carries faint sorrow, a wave of sparkling light flowing in that pair of captivating almond eyes, and so I once again wonder, are the two of us really twins?

Actually, I am a fake ancient person, because I time travelled.

I still remember how to start up and shut down a computer, how to operate a printer, how to start the engine of a car.

I, the twin of the flower-like beauty Imperial Sister in name only, looks the exact same as I did before, even the little mole sitting at the corner of my eye has been transferred over, wholly intact.

Basically, I believe this body originally shouldn’t have been born with this appearance, this is purely caused by the time travelling of my soul.

“Ah-Lan, Ah-Lan, did you hear what I was saying?” Imperial Sister’s nice looking brows knits together, even such an expression is unbelievably beautiful.

I raise my head and blankly look at Imperial Sister, “Ah?”

As expected, Imperial Sister does that same expression and action that she had already done n number of times. She softly sighs, jade hands cupping her own face, beautiful orbs plaintively looking into the distance, “How could I have forgotten? You simply don’t understand my sorrows.”

I continue to look at her with a blank gaze, dumbly asking: “Imperial Sister, what were you saying to me just now?”

The sentimental expression fades from Imperial Sister’s face, and she leisurely says: “Nothing much, Ah-Lan, I shall go back now, be good today alright? Go to sleep earlier.”

And so, just like a dancing butterfly, she flutters away.

Still keeping a dull expression on my face, I return to my room, and then extremely skilfully remove the transparent purple grape skin.

Perhaps you can also work out, I am a princess, moreover, a fool of a princess.

Born in the imperial palace, my appearance is as average as that of the white radish and white cabbages in the fields. Throughout all four seasons of the year, my face is always displaying a dull expression, eyes forever shrouded in haze.

No matter who says something to me, I will always have that thousand year unchanging dull expression, along with that sound of “ah”, truly living up to my Foolish Princess title.

Sometimes I would think, had it been someone else, perhaps they would roar out something along the lines of:

Pei! You’re the frigging fool here, your entire family’s made up of fools.

It’s also considered a loss that my personality weighs more on the level-headed side. Just leave those people to munch on whatever they like to munch on, after all, who is dumb and who is smart, is not definite.

My Imperial Sister, An Ke Zi, is our kingdom’s most stunning beauty, one must know, since the ancient times, the worries of a beauty has always been many.

My oldest male cousin, Yuwen Rui, is an elegantly refined and well-mannered gentleman on the surface, but this person, has a secret that cannot be told to anyone.

My seventh older male cousin, Yuwen Xiu, other than having beauty that shakes the heavens and earth, is also quite an enigmatic one. He loves to chase me around calling me little fool, little fool, heaven knows how many times I had wanted to shove the grape skin up his pretty nostrils, but in the end, I still restrain myself very sensibly.

I know of the secrets within this palace, including hers, his, and theirs.

Just leisurely living my days comfortably in the palace like this, I firmly believe I can continue to play dumb to the end.

When I got up this morning, Xi Xi told me, the sun is shining extremely beautifully outside, best suited for going on an outing.

And then, not long after Imperial Sister had left, Yuwen Xiu came along.

“Little Fool, say, how is the weather today?” Yuwen Xiu’s pair of peach blossom eyes contains unclear intentions.

I slightly squint my eyes and nod, “Good.”

Yuwen Xiu then dashingly spreads open the folded fan he always carries with him, “Then say, how about Seventh Brother take you out the palace?”

I continue to squint my eyes and nod, “Good.”

Yuwen Xiu smiles, “How about Seventh Brother sells you off?”

Again with the same expression and action, “Good.”

This word of ‘good’ was responded with him knocking me on the head.

Sitting in the horse carriage, I slowly chew the plum blossom cake in my mouth, sweet but not greasy, looks like the palace cook has changed again.

“Little Fool, do you have anywhere you wish to go today?” Yuwen Xiu asks.

I carefully eat the snack in hand, without leaving any crumbs, “No.”

I want to go to a brothel, a male whorehouse, how about that?

Yuwen Xiu deliberately knit his brows together, “Then what to do? Had I have known earlier, I wouldn’t have brought you out.”

I thought to myself, quit acting, is it not you who wanted to wander out yourself? I was thinking this to myself, but my face remains blank: “Let us head back then.”

Yuwen Xiu’s face slightly changes, “Call you a fool and you really act like one.”

In face of this, I feel quite helpless, I don’t know why he is so persistent on calling me a fool, in fact, I have never once showed the appearance of idiotically gnawing at my own fingers with saliva dripping from my mouth.

I am just a little blank, really, I am not lying to you all.

Yuwen Xiu’s horse carriage directly takes us to a thoroughly bustling main street. Having gotten off the horse carriage, I show no eagerness nor excitement, just looking at him woodenly.

“Ah-Lan, what are you looking at?” The corners of Yuwen Xiu’s lips tugs up.

I say: “Looking at Seventh Brother.”

“What’s so good looking about Seventh Brother?” Hearing the tone in his voice, it is filled with arrogance.

I calmly ask: “Seventh Brother, did you bring money?”

Yuwen Xiu appears to clench his teeth a little, “Brought it, you, rest, assured.”

I turn around, Seventh Brother, it’s not that I don’t trust you, just that I have not forgotten the previous incident of you getting chased, after not bringing any money last time.

It truly, sucked.

Half an hour later, I was stood at the roadside taking little bites of my candied gourd, not paying much attention to those along the roadside.

Another ten minutes passes, and I look at the still plentiful candied gourd in hand, feeling a little dejected, looks like Seventh Brother is lost again.

“Does the candied gourd taste good, little girl?” A man with a very upright appearance yet very wretched temperament comes up to my side.

I fall into a daze as I stare at the candied gourd in hand, finally raising my head after a very long time to say: “Good.”

That middle aged man’s face had already stiffened a little, after hearing me say this, he then strains to pull up the muscles on both sides of his face: “Do you want to eat something even tastier than this then?”

I once again lower my head and ponder for a long time before raising my head to say: “Want to.”

The middle aged man’s face finally shows a bit of happiness: “Then come along with Uncle, Uncle will take you to eat something much tastier.”

Of course I have noticed that he used a tone of certainty and not one of doubt, thinking to myself, could it be I really look like such an easy person to abduct?

I reach up and cup the back of my head, stroking it, having made sure Seventh Brother did not stick some straws in it, I nod, “Very well.”

I feel I should teach Seventh Brother a lesson, touring around again whilst I’m at it. (Author’s note — you sure it’s not go touring around again, teaching Seventh Brother a lesson whilst you’re at it?)

I swear to God, had I have known the consequences of this abduction, I definitely would not have left the palace with Yuwen Xiu.

 

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